Coach’s Charge - Redefining Success

As coaches and parents, we often view success in tangible results. The medal, the podium, the grade, the score. Even in our discussions of last week’s tournament I found myself speaking in terms of who won what place. Now is a good time to remind ourselves that more important than any win is the preparation and process leading up to that win. The months of training, healthy dieting, and healthy living; the countless hours spent with training partners; our parents sacrifices in getting us to training day after day. More than just winning, it's a good time to remind ourselves of our role as coaches in developing outstanding humans. We are an integral part of the team of parents, family members, teachers, and others who are are charged with raising people who are resilient; strong in mind, body, and spirit; and who possess the character to serve and lead others in confronting untold challenges ahead.

This TED Talk, in which Valorie Kondos Field challenges a deeply ingrained belief that winning equals success, and the win at all costs culture resonated with me.

Her message is simple but urgent: who a person becomes matters more than what they achieve.

For parents and coaches, this shift shows up in the smallest, most consistent moments—short conversations and seemingly benign comments from coaches at daily practice. Times of reflection with parents at dinner, before bed, and including the car ride home.

After a game, practice, or performance, the instinct is often to evaluate:

• “Did you win?”

• “Why didn’t you perform better?”

But those questions reinforce pressure and tie self-worth to outcomes.

Instead, Coach Kondos Field encourages a different conversation:

• “What did you enjoy about today?”

• “What did you learn?”

• “What are you proud of?”

These questions build confidence, resilience, and trust. They tell athletes—and kids—that they are valued beyond the scoreboard.

Because in the long run, the goal isn’t just raising winners.

It’s raising healthy, confident human beings.

Check out her TED Talk here.  Title: When Winning Isn’t the Goal: Redefining Success Beyond the Scoreboard

Content Warning: This talk contains traumatic themes.

https://www.ted.com/talks/valorie_kondos_field_why_winning_doesn_t_always_equal_success?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare